Connie Wilmarth
Tried to kill Darth
Vader with her cotton twill scarf
Whistling Liszt
Torqued her wrist
Tragically, he died unkissed
Jedediah
Can supply a
Word about the one Messiah
Jesus' reign
He'll explain
If there's caffeine in his vein
Lanta Davis
Won't enslave us
Neither will she microwave us
Through her gracious
Perspicacious
Lessons, we'll wind up sagacious!
Peekaboo! It’s
Stacey Lewis
Unlike Mary, she’s no Jewess
Synagoguing
Nor out logging
Every day she’s here, Lew-dawging!
Samuel Robi-
son's not snobby
Meeting people is his hobby
Ball? He'll bounce it.
Race? He'll trounce it.
It's your birthday? He'll announce it.
Catherine Miller
Dance floor filler
Moved to Michael Jackson's Thriller
As she stepped
Jesus wept
Off His feet entirely swept
Aaron Dilla
Holy killa
In the field he's God's guerrilla
Bible blaster
Study faster
Cram it in, you budding pastor!
Britni Steiling
Schemes compiling
Like Paul said, she's reconciling
Homeless people
Once asleep'll
Find a welcome 'neath the steeple
Joseph Womack
Quite the throwback
Make us green like mountain snowpack
In a wink
Debt goes shrink
Beacons all are tickled pink
Peter Norland
Went to war. Gunned
Down at once, he left an orphaned
Bunny, Foo-foo
Crying "Yoo-hoo!
What's the ASL for 'boo hoo?'"
I also did one for Preston, but I'm afraid it's lost to history.
Edit, November 16, 2016: found it!
Superstar
Accelerates the van like Star Trek
Tallyho!
Make it so!
Warp nineteen to our next show!
Edit 2, November 21, 2016: just found another one I did for Dr. Steve Caloudas, who was briefly a psychology professor here a few years back.
Is he Judas
Or a Buddhist?
No! He's Doctor Steve Caloudas.
Like epoxy
His faith rocks! He
Lives that Eastern Orthodoxy.
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