A mnemonnie for Conic

For years, when I've covered informative speaking, I've talked about what a good idea it is for a speaker to give the audience memory tricks for the material in the speech, and I always ask students for examples that they used in school. They offer up Roy G. Biv, King Philip Came Over For Good Steak, and a few others, and I always chip in Please Excuse My Drunk Aunt Sally. That's a memory trick for the order of operations in math: first, do parentheses and exponents, then multiply and divide, and finally, add and subtract.

The students giggle at my version, because their teachers say Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally. But, as I explain, that makes no sense. Excusing my drunk Aunt Sally is understandable, because she's probably a little too loud, and might even be hitting on everything in pants. But if she's dear, then why are you asking people to excuse her? Are you ashamed of her? What, is it because she's old? Because she's not cool? What's wrong with you?

Anyway, every once in a while I wake up in the middle of the night, wide awake, and there's no telling where my mind will wander, and last night I had an attack of wakeful, wandering mind. And I got to thinking about other phrasings of this mnemonic. It being the middle of the night and all, I have to admit that a lot of them sound like the title of a horror movie.

• Please educate my dumb Aunt Sally.
• Please exterminate my deadly Aunt Sally.
• Please exfoliate my dry-skinned Aunt Sally.
• Please expel my delinquent Aunt Sally.
• Please excommunicate my Donatist Aunt Sally.
• Please execute my diabolical Aunt Sally.
• Please exorcise my demonic Aunt Sally.
• Please extradite my drug-dealing Aunt Sally.
• Please eat my delicious Aunt Sally.
• Please exhume my dead Aunt Sally.