Sunday, February 15, 2009

Redivider

February is shaping up as my snarky month. (Well, snarkier.)

This week, I had a fresh burst of frustration over the stimulus package and the opposition to it, so I fired off two letters to the editor; one to the Vegetable-Guard, and one to the Oregonian.


The R-G letter (which ran today):
"People are dying of salmonella? There’s not a minute to lose! Quick, pass a tax cut for people with salmonella! Don’t bother spending the money on food safety to actually hire enough inspectors to put teeth in the law. It’s not the government’s money; it’s the people's money! Get those refund checks mailed out to their graves, so we can pay someone to put a nice coat of varnish on their tombstones.

"We’re losing more veterans to suicide than we are soldiers in combat? There’s not a minute to lose! Quick, pass a tax cut for veterans who’ve committed suicide!"
The Oregonian letter:
"The goal was bipartisan support for the stimulus plan, but it didn’t quite happen. In case this happens again, I have some tips for President Obama for the next go-round.

"Your first missing piece was war. There just wasn’t enough war to interest your loyal opposition. Next time, tell a lot of lies and tangle the country up in an unnecessary and incompetently fought war, because we know from experience that if you do, the Republicans will crowbar open the ATM and invite you to help yourself.


"Better still, you could just switch parties. If you yourself are a Republican, you can propose three trillion dollars to buy tap-dancing shoes for leprechauns, and the Republican caucus will mob the cameras to say, with straight faces, that it’s the most common-sense, family values, anti-terrorist idea they’ve ever heard, and fiscally conservative to boot.
"
They're clearly over the top and not entirely fair. They're more an expression of frustration than anything else. But they're also not altogether off-target.

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